Wednesday, June 13, 2007

The Cure

Think about life.

Get off at subway stop near bar.

Drink heavily (what's one more? I'm only buzzed).

Chat with folks 10-15 years younger than you.

Feel old and silly.

Go home.

Walk on platform repeatedly while waiting for train in futile atempt to burn off calories ingested.

Get bacon & cheese sandwich at local deli on the way home to absorb alcohol.

Feed cat.

Check email to see who loves you (bad idea).

Delete spam.

Write silly entry in blog.

Pass out.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

3AM, Dating and Loneliness

I spend most of my time focusing on what I'm doing. Getting absorbed in activity. Some good things have been happening in my life. There are some nibbles from companies on my scripts and movie. I've been dating, which is (mostly) a good thing. I'm starting a job (in late June) that promises a nice steady paycheck and a little less responsibility. By the time I'm done I'll be ready and willing to get back into indie-land. And my divorce is finalized.

But this past couple of days, especially late at night, I've been refocusing on what I'm feeling and thinking. My birthday is coming up - that always brings it out in me. Two years ago on my 35th birthday I realized my life wasn't going where I wanted it to go, and I started making some changes - the ones that have led me here. Now that I'm two years into the project, I'm wondering what I've glossed over, or haven't taken care of, or am doing well at. The success I want still eludes me, but I feel like it's closer each day. And I'm blessed (if an atheist can be blessed) with love from friends, family, and fellow travelers in the film life.

MOVIES

This is the season of sequels. Hollywood Studios have tossed in the towel - they just want to manufacture more of the same crap. I happen to like crap sometimes - I loved "Casino Royale" and even got into "Mission Impossible 3." But this year seems kinda silly.

But whatever. The more I know about film history, the less important a summer like this seems - Hollywood and the film business in general has been going through waves of artistically conservative and liberal tendencies since it started. Even in the middle of all the sequels, some things stand out:

Bug. This genuinely creeply psychological thriller (it's not a horror movie) will get under your skin and stay there. William Friedkin shows that he's still got it, Ashley Judd is terrific and very sympathetic, and the rest of the cast is great.

Waitress. This is an honest, beautiful, funny and sad movie all at once. I don't want to say too much.

Knocked Up. Funny as hell. But also deeper - it's about growing up and taking responsibility for your life.

Day Watch. This is a sequel about Russian vampires (who also have other abilities) and are locked in a power struggle between the light ones and dark ones. Lest you think this is a retread of "Underworld" let me assure you that it's about a billion times smarter, more original, more fun, and more emotionally honest.

Oh, and go see Trees Lounge and Dead Like Me on DVD. Great stuff. More on them later.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Did You Ever Have...

... one of those days where things seemed to just click? I've had a bunch of days where everything seemed to suck, so maybe I was overdue. Today even the bad news seemed to flow nicely into the good news. Hard to say why, and I don't want to go into details, but suffice it to say that today was a good day.

Love to y'all.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Back To Basics

I guess I oscillate between the "small cute topic" and "semi-profound thought." I haven't had any really semi-profound thoughts lately, just the usual mix of disappointment, anger, wonder (some great sunsets, beautiful weather, and semi-naked beautiful people walking around), and happiness (I've been doing a lot of screenwriting and still photography work lately).

Fortunately, my cat keeps me sane. Here's a pic for you:

In terms of reading, I'm still going back and forth between "Moby Dick" and Bill Moyer's "World of Ideas."
Moyers is my hero. He's a great synthesist, seeing the underlying patterns between disparate expressions of thought. He's a terrific interviewer, always respectful, but also challenging and insightful. He's not afraid to bring his background to bear but never lets it dominate the conversation. And his sense of justice is clear but not dogmatic or screeching.
What's depressing is that the issues discussed in the book (published in '90, during Bush I's time) are pressing at us again: environmental ruin, the disappearance of public commons, the eclipsing of governments by corporations, racism, immigration issues, the rights of the individual, sexism... it's as if we've gone nowhere in the last seventeen years. Could that be true?
I read a book many years ago (about the same time as "World of Ideas" came out, actually) called "In the Country of the Blind" by Michael Flynn. It's about several groups of historians and scientists who discover a way to mathematically model future events - to predict history. Using this knowledge, of course they end up manipulating things for their own gain. One of the persistent themes in the book is that the bigger groups wants to turn everyone into "technoserfs" - people who are work, have enough technology to get by (and get distracted by), but are depoliticized and dependent both economically and politically on the very rich. In some ways I feel like we've reached that stage.
I've contributed money to politicians and some causes, have "e-signed" a few petitions, and I vote, but is it enough? Are we active enough? Does turning my appliances off at night / when I leave count for anything?